Thursday, September 16, 2010

Happy Birthday to Me!

Although my birthday is today, I think I'm going to hold off celebrations until next Friday, when I can go out and see the sequel to the most inspirational movie ever made.

Sunday, September 5, 2010

I have the worst employees ever!

It has come to my attention that my blog has not been updated regularly. What's the use of having a team full of minions employees if they don't do your work for you?

They say they are "busy". Hmph. What have they done this year? It's not like they redesigned an entire website, or managed the production of thousands of ebooks, distributed ebooks to new and exciting places, or trained countless authors on social media. I mean, maybe if they launched a new business or something, I could overlook their slacking. But I really can't see why they are so busy they can't keep my social media profile active.

I was just reading an article the other day (and by reading the article, I mean skimming the headline, forwarding it to employee #8 and asking her to summarize it for me) about how important it is for extremely important people (like myself) to be active in social media, and then I remembered my blog. I was dismayed to see that no one on my team had kept it active.

I guess if you want to do something right, you have to do it yourself!

Friday, October 23, 2009

Thankful to be alive!

It's been a long time since I last wrote. Frankly, I needed some time to recover from a very traumatic incident. I was a victim of attempted Bobble-cide.

I'm not sure what prompted it. I was just minding my own business at my desk, when all of a sudden I was grabbed by a very important person in the company. I didn't feel like I could really say anything, after all, she is the boss. So I just sat patiently waiting for her to finish her examination. Next thing I know, I'm hurtling towards the floor. Before I could really feel any fear, bobble met floor and there was a distinct crunching sound.

There wasn't any physical pain (since, well, I'm a bobble), but my heart aches when I think of my once perfect jawline that is now forever flawed.

Do you think it makes me look less bossly?

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

What a day!

My day started off normally – I arrived early at work. Noting that no one was dedicated enough to be there that early, I headed down to the gym for a workout.

I did my usual 30 minutes on the treadmill.

And then busted a sweat on the weight machine.

Whew! Definitely needed a drink after that!

Then I headed upstairs. I checked my email, and attended a few meetings.

Stew wanted to discuss some numbers.

I talked to Christina about some new ideas I had. She didn’t seem very receptive.

Margaret wanted to discuss corporate IT strategy. I wish she would just help me figure out how to add an app to my Blackberry.

I showed off my new iPhone to the ICG guys. They thought it was cool. Because it is. Oh yeah.

Then I headed off to HR to meet with Trish. She and I discussed some totally confidential stuff. Can’t get into it now, cuz it’s confidential. Seriously.

After that I met with Donna. I guess it went well. Well, except for all the yelling and pointing.

That was a pretty busy morning – I needed a break! Time for some lunch…

Back to work. I took a call from a reporter who wanted to interview me. Important people have to do that kind of stuff.

After the interview, I went to the team meeting. I was pretty excited – because even though I didn’t make a big deal about it – today was my birthday! I couldn’t wait to see what the team had in store for me.

I walked into the room...and nothing. Just a regular old meeting.

No cake. No streamers. No presents. Not a single flake of confetti. I tried not to show my disappointment. But I think a few of them might have seen a little resin tear slide down my molded cheek.

I can’t remember what happened after that – I was too shocked. I know I talked for awhile. I think I lost their attention at one point.

I decided that I really needed to address their lack of enthusiasm for my birthday – but I didn’t know how to bring it up with them. A little research was in order.

All that reading tired me out, so I decided to grab a quick snack.

As I was eating my tasty banana, I noticed that all of my employees were heading - nay, SNEAKING, into the boardroom. Were they plotting against me? Why was I not invited to this secret meeting? I stormed into the boardroom – ready to read them the riot act.


Oh me. Oh my. They didn’t forget! It was all a ruse! I should have known they wouldn’t forget. After all, I was the boss! How could they forget my birthday!?!? I mean, who is more important in their lives than me? No one, that’s who!

I’m so glad they remembered. I would have hated to have to fire them all....(sort of)

Thursday, September 10, 2009


The office was so cold today, I had to borrow Lora's snuggy.

I'm sure she won't mind. How could she, I'm the boss?

Friday, September 4, 2009


Someone brought a kid into the office today.

Who brings kids to the office? They are all screamy and germy and drooly.

How am I ever going to get the cooties out of my hair?

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

First Post!

Well, it's about time I created a blog of my own. After all, I am the boss.

I think I will use this blog to document my adventures in bossing.